Betrayal Trauma Therapy in San Diego
Heal from the pain caused by infidelity and deception.
There is a unique and shattering pain that comes with being betrayed by someone you deeply trust. It’s more than just heartbreak; it can feel like a seismic event that can make you question your reality, your judgment, and your own worth. The discovery of infidelity, a hidden addiction, or a long-term deception doesn't just break your heart—it can break your world.
I’m Allie Evans, a therapist providing online services to clients in San Diego, and I specialize in helping people navigate the devastating aftermath of betrayal trauma. My work is dedicated to creating a safe, non-judgmental space where you can begin to make sense of the senseless and find a path back to yourself when it can feel like the ground has fallen out from beneath you.
What is betrayal trauma?
Betrayal trauma describes the wound that occurs when someone you depend on for safety and support violates your trust in a significant way, often someone you’re in a relationship with. The closer the person and the more you rely on them, the deeper the trauma.
Unlike other traumas, the source of the pain is also the source of your comfort, which creates an impossible bind in your nervous system. Your mind and body are overwhelmed with conflicting impulses: to pull away to protect yourself, and to move closer to the person you love. This can lead to symptoms that include:
Intense emotional swings, from rage to numbness to deep grief.
Brain fog, memory problems, and difficulty concentrating.
A shattered sense of self-worth and chronic self-doubt.
Hypervigilance, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts about the betrayal.
Difficulty trusting your own perceptions and intuition.
Whether you're reeling from the discovery of an affair, an emotional betrayal, or other forms of deep deception, this form of trauma is very real.
How we’ll help you heal from betrayal trauma
Healing from betrayal is not a linear process with a set of steps everyone takes. It often requires more than just talking about what happened. As a San Diego therapist specializing in trauma, I use a deeply integrated, evidence-based approach to help you process the pain on every level—mental, emotional, and physical.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): As an EMDR Certified Therapist, I use this powerful modality to specifically target the traumatic memory of the discovery. The moment you found out is often seared into your brain. EMDR helps to desensitize this memory, reducing the intensity of flashbacks and emotional triggers so you can think about what happened without being completely overwhelmed.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Betrayal creates intense inner conflict. IFS provides a compassionate map to the parts of you that are at war—the enraged part, the deeply wounded part, the part that wants to leave, and the part that is terrified of being alone. We will listen to all of these parts, honor their pain, and help you connect with your calm, confident core Self.
Somatic Therapy: Your body has been carrying the shock and stress of this trauma. Somatic (body-based) therapy helps us gently release this stored tension. We'll work on regulating your dysregulated nervous system, helping you to feel safe and grounded in your own body again.
Move forward from betrayal trauma in ways that serve you
My primary focus is on your healing. This work is for you, to help you regain your footing, your sanity, and your sense of self. Whether you decide to stay in the relationship or leave, the healing you do here will empower you to move forward with clarity, resilience, and a renewed sense of trust in yourself.
If you are in San Diego and are looking for a therapist who truly understands the complexities of infidelity and betrayal trauma, I invite you to reach out and start your process of healing.